


hide & seek

by halfasliceofmint



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bad Writing, Fluff, I'm Bad At Summaries, Light Angst, M/M, My First Fanfic, Not Beta Read, Pining, again its really ooc im not in this fandom im sorry for the pain i've caused, cause no one would, i'm not even in this fandom??? yea, rating for swearing ya i dunno my soul dies every time, super ooc i'm sorry, this fandom is weird, why are three of them choi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-11-28 21:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20973647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfasliceofmint/pseuds/halfasliceofmint
Summary: he tucks his ever-growing feelings into a never-growing jar, hidden away so it doesn't explode





	hide & seek

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mysticjjuni](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticjjuni/gifts).

> happy borthday gourl
> 
> this is so horridly out of character
> 
> to all others please note that i am not in this fandom and my only source of information comes from the gourl this fic is for
> 
> so its very horridly out of character probably i dunno
> 
> i'm also not even qualified to write romance and this is my first fic s o uh
> 
> don't say i didn't warn ya

Love? He didn’t know of that! No, obviously not, why would he fall in love with someone? Being in love is too vulnerable of a thing, and he was a man that was always steady on his feet and would always swing back around with his famed sass. To be in love meant that he would be stumbly and he’d have to admit to the person that, hey, you’re the reason I’m acting so stupidly out of character. Atrocious! He wouldn’t fall to Cupid! Nay!

Oh, but, how do you know of this love? Sounds an awful lot like you are treading through its depths yourself . . . 

You’re mistaken! Surely, surely! These feelings aren’t of love! He’s probably just sick. All the time, yes, that makes a lot of sense. Mhm. 

Oh, but, how else does one think of these strange feelings? Sappy romantic dramas and cheesy subplots always detail of shifty feelings in the gut and the concoction of overwhelming affection that always overflows and has him racing out of close proximity, red-faced and tripping over his own two feet. He knows that anyone who has looked--actually looked--at him as he argues with Soobin would know, quite accurately, that he was madly in love with the boy. Oh, curse him for being so lovingly dense and dragging him through this eternal suffering! 

So, maybe, just maybe, he had known love. Currently knows love. Even uselessly pines over it. He’ll never say! Never ever. His lips are sealed. No one can get him to admit anything! Not even you! It’s still utterly stupid, he knows that he himself is utterly stupid for pining after his oblivious stand partner. 

He’s also convinced that he would never like him back, much less love him, they yell at each other practically daily after all (it’s more just him fuming as Soobin just apologizes repeatedly, but he doesn’t linger long on that), and his stupidly large pride stops him from telling the boy about it. Partly because he knows that people would probably think less of him for being all lovey-dovey--he’s supposed to be calm and composed and suave, dammit--but also because, like in all those fluffy fanfictions that he <strike>reads</strike> hears about, he’s sorta, kinda, very much so scared that Soobin would reject him, ruining their relationship and casting him away as some sort of weirdo. Oh! He can’t imagine a worse fate than to have <strike>the love of his life</strike> his rival _truly_ look at him as if he was sporting three heads. The rational part of him reasons that, no, Soobin is too nice to do that (curse that aspect of him), but his pride had shushed that part long ago. (Maybe that’s why he’s becoming increasingly stranger, as Beomgyu put it) Besides, he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to take it if he got rejected. He’s pretty content with pining from right next to him, quietly shoving down his weird zombie emotions and waiting for them to die. 

(He’s not ok with this at all, and a teensy bit of him, the part of him that is reserved for his most daring acts, grows larger and larger with the urge to just screech his overflowing emotions at the boy and just get it over with. To get it over with, for Soobin to look at him in disgust and avoid him forevermore, for Yeonjun to leave with 0% of his dignity intact but all of the relief. But, he’s a coward, clinging onto their daily arguments that he reads into too much into instead of facing his stupid issues, hiding his insecurities behind his ever-confident facade that convinced everyone he was carefree and untroubled by things like this.)

So, he stays silent and put about his feelings, savoring stolen touches and petty fights when they argue about who’s taking up to much of their shared space. He brushes Soobin's hand with every over-exaggerated bow movement, launching him into a new flurry of snarky comments to hide his flustered heart, to which the orchestra director has to scold them for being disruptive. He daydreams of him during boring math classes, sweet fantasies where he can pretend that Soobin doesn’t hate him, where they can go out on cheesy dates and share cotton candy and sundaes and kisses under the setting sun. He’s always pulled out of them too soon, spluttering and grasping at straws when the teacher notices him dozing off, and he actually wishes to become unnoticeable. 

A year comes and goes, him successfully keeping his affections unnoticed. Through some strange miracle, they both end up in the same class, stand partners for another year. He had made an effort to show distaste at that prospect, but his heart was soaring and his head felt light and Beomgyu had commented on his unusually good mood for the rest of the week. Beomgyu. Oh, that boy had brought trouble everywhere he went, and this time was no different. A series of god awful events most certainly orchestrated by Beomgyu himself had sorted it out so that somehow their rivalry was overcome and he was, blessedly, Soobin’s _friend_. (He’d never tell him that he was extremely thankful for this, not over his dead body.) 

This strange, new closeness lets Yeonjun discover little tidbits and traits that he hadn’t noticed before, and he finds it maddeningly adorable. Now that they’re not arguing every time they’re within two meters of each other, he can actually sit down with the boy and uncover the massive sea of softness he seems to hold. It does nothing good for his heart, only makes the accursed feelings grow and grow until he’s not exactly sure how it hasn’t exploded yet. The closeness comes with a sticky kind of unease, for now he has the delicate sculpture of friendship balancing between them. He’s only fallen harder and the idea of a friendzone isn’t all that appealing. Not on his part, he’s most definitely sure that Soobin didn't return his affections, but wouldn’t it just be so awkward if you knew that your friend likes you? He’s okay staying like this, it's fine, perfectly divine. If the boy was so dense as to not notice his pining, then it's very, very obvious that he doesn’t like him like that. 

He’s not to blame when he finds out Soobin does indeed like him like that and, like any normal person, is shaken to their very core. The love of his life feeling the same as him? Impossible! That only happens in cheesy fanfictions! Beomgyu, after offhandedly telling him this atrocious piece of news, had stared at his dumbfounded face in utter confusion. 

“What, are you so dull that you hadn’t realized? Man, I knew you were stupid, but this is a whole new level. Kai thinks you’re dating, but nay! Love makes idiots dumb squared huh . . .” 

In flustered anger, he’d whacked Beomgyu with a textbook until he shut up. Fear was known that day. 

For the rest of the week, he spends his time examining Soobin. (Not like he already didn’t do that, but this time, he tried extra hard not to be clouded with his barely contained emotions.) Oh, he was so, so dense for not seeing it earlier. He’s even denser than Kai, and that's saying quite a bit. It’s almost embarrassing to see Soobin act all sappy like this. Did he look like this too? Either Kai wasn’t as dense as he thought or they were just so ridiculously over the moon for each other that even the most thick-skulled human on earth could tell. 

A little part of him peeps up, spluttering little nervous words that chance the fact that maybe he was reading the situation all wrong. As the headstrong person he is, that little part gets approximately no attention, not when every other inch is screeching that they look stupidly in love and oh dear lord it’s so embarrassing. To act this on a daily basis? It would make the most macho and stony-faced person out there turn their head in shame! 

But, still, he’s not going to do anything! Nothing at all! Why should he have to do all the weird awkwarding? Why shouldn’t Soobin put forth the notion of dating? God, if the boy couldn’t treat him right, he might as well just forget these feelings! (His subconscious whispers little wisps of thought that freeze every off-handed idea that he should just up and deal with it, countering it with a mist of fear, fear of rejection, fear of shame, fear that he’ll drop this delicately cultivated relationship and shatter it into a million pieces.) 

For the following weeks, he’s dancing on eggshells and simultaneously reading greedily and over-analyzing every small action either of them makes. It’s torture, pure torture. He can almost see himself morph into Kaguya, but he’s honestly kind of scared of her and would rather not. Shame is working less and less on his urge to just shove his feelings down the other’s throat and sprint away as fast as humanly possible. Strangely enough, Beomgyu has kept silent about it this entire time, even though it’s a gold mine of “funny” remarks. He still constantly looks like he’s on the edge of positively dying with laughter, so Yeonjun still dedicates time and energy in making sure he doesn’t. 

Spring is fighting its way back against the holds of winter when Soobin takes him out on what he blushingly and secretly romanticizes as a date. Honestly, it wasn’t anything of the sort, just a simple get-together with friends after school. But both Kai and Beomgyu had fled with snickering gazes and poorly drawn excuses woven in the air between them, so they had hightailed it to leave the two alone. Yeonjun could have sworn that Beomgyu had shot him a crudely crafted wink loaded with some message he didn’t quite get. (He now knows it held the words “You’ll thank me later”, but he has yet to comply.) They had taken the short trek to the park in relative _not_ silence. He had been talking enough for ten people, completely dominating the conversation in an attempt to hide his awkwardness. (If he relished in the rare laughs and comments the naturally quiet boy slipped into their midst, he says nothing.) 

They had stopped by a cafe to pick up snacks and drinks before making their way to the picnic table secluded by the long-limbed wisteria trees that surrounded it. Damp flower petals thickly coat the tabletop, so they merely clear out one of the benches, setting their backpacks and pastry bags haphazardly between them. He quickly threw himself into comfort, ignoring the urge to move their items so that he could lean upon the other boy’s shoulder, messily tearing into his pastry. Soobin, on the contrary, is essentially the pinnacle of elegance, a slight smile gracing his lips. Yeonjun blushes almost immediately, resisting the impulse to jerk his head away from this fu**ing angel. He almost misses his next words, lost in this utterly debilitating trance. 

“That bread must be really good! Hey, can I try it?” 

He’s an idiot, so he nods “yes” in a daze, offering the pastry in Soobin’s direction, fully expecting the boy to merely tear off an untouched section. As he watches, Soobin leans down, brushing his hair away from his face, and plants his mouth squarely on a jagged and bitten edge. 

He feels a wash of fire burn across his face, filling his head with smoke and snatching away his brain. Slowly, oh so slowly, he pulls back, chewing thoughtfully and avoiding eye contact. He could see the barest trace of a blush gracing his cheeks, but thoughts were not spared on that matter, spinning from the sheer boldness of this boy. 

The audacity! How did he even muster up the gall to perform that stunt? In front of someone! Nevermind the fact that the someone was head over heels for him, the god of self-confidence (himself, of course) wouldn’t even do that! Oh lord, he feels like he’s taking on the burden of this boy’s impulsive actions. Instinctively, his mind prods him to break the tension, except the fire in his chest warps what was meant to be a lighthearted prod into something accusatory and trembly and not teasing in the slightest, worthy of your classic tsundere anime girl. Soobin opens his mouth. 

“Oh-” 

“Wh-What the fuck, man? Are you, uhm, like, in . . . in love with me or something?” 

His face breaks into a smile as bright and encompassing as the sun itself, the demon gremlin thing in him shrieks to turn away from this accursed light. The blush from earlier seeps across his visage as he fiddles with his fingertips and drags his eyes painstakingly to mine. The boy seems to glow. 

“Ah, was I that obvious? Yeah, I think I am . . . inlovewithyouImean.” he half mutters, half screams, and immediately twists away so Yeonjun can’t see his face. The tips of his ears are bright red. 

Something stirs in his chest. His heart is being set aflame. He feels like he’s floating away, tethered to this world only by this huge lump of incomprehensible feelings. 

He was angry. 

He was shocked. 

He was relieved. 

_He was absolutely over the moon._

**Author's Note:**

> yea sorry
> 
> deres a smol thing where dey are stand pardners in orchrestra uwu ;-;
> 
> k bye hapi birth gril


End file.
